I was kind of sucky in May. It is an example of a month where I did not make the choices I knew I should and I don't know why. I only swam 6 times. I ate too many carbs. I only tested my glucose 27 times over the entire month. I think partially it was physically based. My foot started swelling again and in addition to the swelling I had a lot of just plain foot pain. I remember one night I totally planned to swim. As I started to walk to the car my feet hurt so badly that even though I knew if I swam I would feel better, the idea of walking across the parking lot and into the YMCA almost made me cry. I just came home and went right to bed.
Michael moved home from the dorm. That has been slightly upsetting to me. Part of me loves having him around and part of me resents so many thing he does or in some cases does NOT do. I am used to living alone now. I don't always keep the house clean, but when it is messy I know it is MY mess and the only person I can be upset with is ME. Instead I come home to a kitchen counter with onion peels on it I swear EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY! The trash can is RIGHT THERE!!! All he has to do is pull it out and swipe the onion peels into it. If he feels we should be composting, then get out a container and at least collect the damn things - don't leave them all over my counter! So then I get emotionally upset over shit like that and I want to escape through mindless internet play, watching stuff, and sleep, beautiful sleep.
Sleep, beautiful sleep...I have been trying to have to take fewer pills to facilitate sleeping. Sometimes I just go to sleep and it's amazing...but then I will wake up about two hours later - and my body thinks it's been a really great power nap and now I can stay up until three or four o'clock. Sigh...
I am trying to prepare a special gift for my parents' sixtieth anniversary. It's involving lots of photo sorting and scanning. Sometimes I will get started on a part of it and obsess for hours and that is what will keep me up until three or four.
I've decided I need to switch doctors. I have loved Dr. Andry for the past couple of years. I have always been a little wary of how many medicines he prescribed. I justified it a lot with, "Well he HAS helped me lose a lot of weight." and "I DO have several chronic conditions." I found out, however he is associated with a program that is very distasteful to me and sounds like a fat farm that is one of those places we get warned about! Here is his regular website: http://andrymedicalservices.com/index.htm If you click on the "medical website" link, however, it takes you here: http://www.agelessmedicineservices.com/ Ummm, no. I have done some searching for a new doctor or NP, but the biggest medical group in town, has not updated their website for two years! I've called the numbers listed for some of the providers who sound good and been told they've switched offices, quit practicing Primary care, moved out of town, etc....It's really frustrating. PLUS you can really only make those calls during the day and I am at work, have a job like a real person! At this point I kind of feel like I will just keep taking meds until all the refills are out and THEN search for a new doc/NP and start fresh.
I did keep my numbers in May, and glucose is up a little bit. I've set a goal to swim at least 15 times in June. I'm hoping that will help the overall picture. We shall see...
Average fasting glucose: 128
Average glucose: 136
Lowest fasting: 109
Highest Fasting:135
Lowest overall: 89
Highest overall: 198
Activity: swam a total of 13,600 meters in six sessions.
Weight - I recorded my weight on May 1 as 197.4. I think it is still around that. It's been hard to tell, however because the water weight of the foot swelling again makes actual weight a moot point. I do feel like I have toned some and I have lost some around the waist. I have to keep "hitching up" my underwear all day long. I have also been able to get out a couple of the items I had altered or bought when I had lost that 30 pound a couple of years ago and they fit pretty well - maybe a little gap or funny wrinkle here or there, but nothing gross ( I hope). I told myself I would measure my waist again when I hit 190, but I may do it sooner, just to test the theory. I'm kind of sad because the online weight loss group that had formed among friends a couple of years ago has gone kaput and that is where I had recorded my measurements. I'm pretty sure I remember my waist, but I don't want to say it right now! So much for brutally honest!
In going through all the pictures of me I found a couple that show me at what I think was my highest weight ever. Emily has one marked on the back August 2000. So that was before I lost the 52 pounds, gained back 35, lost another 30, gained back 20.... at least I am STILL 35 pounds light than I was then! Now to get it off and KEEP it off.
SO Goals for June are: swim at least 15 times - work up to 2800 meter sessions by the end of the month. Test glucose at least 60 times through the month. Keep researching for new primary health care provider.
The end.
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