3000

My goal was to be able to swim 2800 meters in a session by the end of the month. I did 3000 tonight. I found that by doing a thousand, then resting 5 minutes and then doing another set I actually do more meters faster than if I swim without resting. I am up to half breast stroke and half freestyle. In the beginning I was worried that the rotation of the breast stroke kick would be painful to my knee. Instead I find that the flutter kick is actually more difficult. Also the freestyle is much more challenging to my cardiovascular system. Right now I just do alternating fifties of the two strokes. I'd like to keep adding more freestyle until my knee is stronger and my breathing is more efficient. Right now I can easily breathe every three strokes, but when I go for five it is very challenging. I would also like to get to flip turns. Right now I don't have the confidence that I have enough air to complete a turn without drowning myself.

My goal was to swim 15 times this month. Tonight was only #5. The next two weeks there are going to be days where I am going to have to swim consecutive days in order to achieve that goal. I may have to cut the distance a little bit so I don't strain the knee. If I do have to cut the distance I plan to work on my breathing and start working on the 5 stroke intervals.

I am still hovering around the same weight. My morning weight tends to bounce between 194 and 197. The day I hit 190.0 or less I am going to measure my belly. That is the weight I was when I last measured it. I had gone from around 220 to the 190 and lost three inches on the waist. I think I recall now that it was 48 inches after the loss. A woman's waist is supposed to be 35 or less to be considered healthy. I wonder how much weight I will have to lose to meet that. The last weight I felt really healthy at was 180, but I think this time I am going to have to go lower to achieve the same level of health. I got older plus it is since that time that I have been diagnosed with all these lovely afflictions.

I decided to quit Dr. Andry. I called the pharmacy and told them to take all my meds off auto-refill. That way they won't call him when the refills run out. I think I have enough meds and refills to make it for a while. I scheduled an appointment with a potential new doctor in the beginning of August. She is a DO and specializes in women's health and chronic disease management - sound like anybody you know? She looks about the same age as my daughter - eek! I am getting so freaking old!

I'm still fighting MAJOR fatigue and sleep delay and disruption. I think I slept about three hours last night, worked an eight hour day, ran errands on my lunch, went and looked at a house for a friend, swam 3000 meters, went by contra dance to pay some money to my web developer, came home and posted all the photos of the house for Shannon, made some lists for Michael, and I could easily stay up another three hours, despite taking a few little blue pills an hour ago. I am going to get away from this sleep-depriving trap and let a movie remove my mind from reality and sleeeeep, sleeeep. I may get five whole hours! Woo hoo! Of course I still need to unload and reload my gym bag if I am going to swim tomorrow. That's part of the pain of swimming instead of walking... special clothes and equipment, blah, blah, blah...

I feel good about the progress I have made. Thank you, Sirpa, with all my heart for getting me kick started in my swimming. It is just another way you have made an amazingly wonderful difference in my life. I love you!

May summary...kind of sucky.

I was kind of sucky in May. It is an example of a month where I did not make the choices I knew I should and I don't know why. I only swam 6 times. I ate too many carbs. I only tested my glucose 27 times over the entire month. I think partially it was physically based. My foot started swelling again and in addition to the swelling I had a lot of just plain foot pain. I remember one night I totally planned to swim. As I started to walk to the car my feet hurt so badly that even though I knew if I swam I would feel better, the idea of walking across the parking lot and into the YMCA almost made me cry. I just came home and went right to bed.

Michael moved home from the dorm. That has been slightly upsetting to me. Part of me loves having him around and part of me resents so many thing he does or in some cases does NOT do. I am used to living alone now. I don't always keep the house clean, but when it is messy I know it is MY mess and the only person I can be upset with is ME. Instead I come home to a kitchen counter with onion peels on it I swear EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY! The trash can is RIGHT THERE!!! All he has to do is pull it out and swipe the onion peels into it. If he feels we should be composting, then get out a container and at least collect the damn things - don't leave them all over my counter! So then I get emotionally upset over shit like that and I want to escape through mindless internet play, watching stuff, and sleep, beautiful sleep.

Sleep, beautiful sleep...I have been trying to have to take fewer pills to facilitate sleeping. Sometimes I just go to sleep and it's amazing...but then I will wake up about two hours later - and my body thinks it's been a really great power nap and now I can stay up until three or four o'clock. Sigh...

I am trying to prepare a special gift for my parents' sixtieth anniversary. It's involving lots of photo sorting and scanning. Sometimes I will get started on a part of it and obsess for hours and that is what will keep me up until three or four.

I've decided I need to switch doctors. I have loved Dr. Andry for the past couple of years. I have always been a little wary of how many medicines he prescribed. I justified it a lot with, "Well he HAS helped me lose a lot of weight." and "I DO have several chronic conditions." I found out, however he is associated with a program that is very distasteful to me and sounds like a fat farm that is one of those places we get warned about! Here is his regular website: http://andrymedicalservices.com/index.htm If you click on the "medical website" link, however, it takes you here: http://www.agelessmedicineservices.com/ Ummm, no. I have done some searching for a new doctor or NP, but the biggest medical group in town, has not updated their website for two years! I've called the numbers listed for some of the providers who sound good and been told they've switched offices, quit practicing Primary care, moved out of town, etc....It's really frustrating. PLUS you can really only make those calls during the day and I am at work, have a job like a real person! At this point I kind of feel like I will just keep taking meds until all the refills are out and THEN search for a new doc/NP and start fresh.

I did keep my numbers in May, and glucose is up a little bit. I've set a goal to swim at least 15 times in June. I'm hoping that will help the overall picture. We shall see...
Average fasting glucose: 128
Average glucose: 136
Lowest fasting: 109
Highest Fasting:135
Lowest overall: 89
Highest overall: 198

Activity: swam a total of 13,600 meters in six sessions.

Weight - I recorded my weight on May 1 as 197.4. I think it is still around that. It's been hard to tell, however because the water weight of the foot swelling again makes actual weight a moot point. I do feel like I have toned some and I have lost some around the waist. I have to keep "hitching up" my underwear all day long. I have also been able to get out a couple of the items I had altered or bought when I had lost that 30 pound a couple of years ago and they fit pretty well - maybe a little gap or funny wrinkle here or there, but nothing gross ( I hope). I told myself I would measure my waist again when I hit 190, but I may do it sooner, just to test the theory. I'm kind of sad because the online weight loss group that had formed among friends a couple of years ago has gone kaput and that is where I had recorded my measurements. I'm pretty sure I remember my waist, but I don't want to say it right now! So much for brutally honest!

In going through all the pictures of me I found a couple that show me at what I think was my highest weight ever. Emily has one marked on the back August 2000. So that was before I lost the 52 pounds, gained back 35, lost another 30, gained back 20.... at least I am STILL 35 pounds light than I was then! Now to get it off and KEEP it off.

SO Goals for June are: swim at least 15 times - work up to 2800 meter sessions by the end of the month. Test glucose at least 60 times through the month. Keep researching for new primary health care provider.

The end.