A week, a week, a week!

I haven't gone swimming since last Wednesday! I was comfortably up to 2100 meters. The goal is to add 100 meters per week until I am at 2400 meters by the end of May. I feel like everything has gone haywire. I finally had the car repaired. I had another special project at work, Last Monday I was so sick I only worked until about 2:30 and then left for the rest of the day - pukey/bad stomach again. We also started another special sales project and I work really hard on those. I got a late start because of being sick Monday, and also knew I was going on vacation this week and would miss time selling on the final deadline day (Monday) and would also have to trust somebody else to cover for me and proof my ads before printing... all really, really difficult things.

So Friday - I didn't swim because I went on a GREAT Girls' Night Out, which was probably just as important - we had dinner and then shopped a little and then all went to Michael's gig. Saturday I can't remember why except maybe I was just in ultimate amounts of pain from too much sitting on Friday. Sunday I planned to go, but I went to work and cleaned off my desk and did everything I could to finish the paperwork for my sales, and then made a list for my manager of what needed to still be done. Michael and I went out to dinner after that and I ate an entire plate of food, which I don't DO anymore. So of course then I came home and spent a lot of time reading "Dune" - multi-tasking, if you get the drift...

Then this yesterday and today I have been a wreck, crying all the time, sleeping eating wrong things at the wrong time. I think part of it is hormonal. (If any men are reading this you need to understand that you are NEVER, EVER allowed to suggest this possibility to a woman. ONLY women are allowed to introduce the idea that our behavior and reactions may be influenced by hormones). I have been crying frequently and all I want to do is lie on the futon and watch episode after episode of Glee and The Office.

Today I even made a list that included swimming and going to get my Driver's License changed and other practical things to get me out of the house - nope.

I had thought Michael and I would actually go somewhere, maybe somewhere NICE on this vacation. I really want to go to Taliesin, in Wisconsin and go on the big tour. It turned out, however that once I sat down at the computer and actually paid the house payment, telephone and student loan (I don't want to talk about why I still have a student loan), that there is no "extra" money, yea verily, hardly enough money. SO, we are going to go to Lafayette Thursday and visit Mom and Dad. We will drive back to Indianapolis in the evening and take Mom with us and go see my sister's choir spring show. We'll abandon Mom in Indy and leave her to her own devices to get back to Lafayette. That may be the highlight of our big vacation!

I burned my finger last night and it hurts badly. My feet are swollen again (the swimming has helped - I think this recurrence is proof), and I have been living on painkillers for a couple of days. I probably ought to be taking anti-anxiety drugs as well, but have refrained so far, except at bedtime.

Tomorrow I hope to have a tear-free day, an exercise day, a get something done day, a NOT three bowls of ice cream day. Wish me strength and peace as I strive to make the choices I know are correct.